Speaking Different Languages

The hubs has decided to drink again, I think. Maybe, he will stop again but I am not sure. Initially, I thought he was just doing the weekend thing but he had a couple of drinks last night and I must say, while it didn't make me want to drink, it does seem to change the way we communicate. I have discovered that we communicate the same when we are sober together and when we are drinking together but when he is drinking and I am not, it is painfully obvious to me that alcohol affects a persons communication style. I haven't really talked to him about it but I really hope that he stops drinking with me or that I can get used to this because I am not enjoying the differences that I am feeling.

My weight hasn't changed very much since I started this little experiment. I do feel less bloated but I am 12 days into it and I am only a couple of pounds down. That is a bummer but I am not discouraged. I think God is giving me the strength that I prayed for to get control of the drinking and my weight.

I am feeling generally grumpy. My daughter told me the other day that she thought that I could be "mean and negative". I thought I was, overall, a positive person but that comment has been stuck in my crawl ever since and I am thinking maybe she is right. I am frustrated with the people that I love the most, at the moment, and I don't know why. I think it is because I have no control of anything in my life and the things I do have control over (ie. cleaning my closet, organizing my desk, exercising, etc.), I really don't want to do. When I felt this way before, I would plan a little "mini-vacation" for myself by walking with a friend to a pub and have wings and beers. But now, I can't even do that unless I want to break this vow I made to myself to not drink. Plus, it is has been ridiculous cold lately. I am thinking I just need to go back to bed and stop writing. Tomorrow will be better.

Cheers!